My Wife With My Friend Again Video
I Just Caught My Wife in a Very Compromising Position
I take no idea what to do.
How to Practice It, Slate's sex advice cavalcade, now has its very own podcast featuring Stoya and Rich! Twice a week, they'll tackle all-new questions together, no matter how out in that location. The 2nd episode each week is available exclusively to Slate Plus members. Sign up for Slate Plus for simply $1 for your first month.
For our commencement calendar week merely, the episode and transcript are available to anybody.
Dear How to Do It,
My married woman and I, a woman and man in our 30s, take been married for almost two years. Nosotros live in a condo, and last month, my best friend, Max, got a new job in our expensive city beyond the country and came to stay with us while he looks for his own identify. This arrangement has been dainty considering we have had no social lives for the past twelvemonth-plus, thanks to COVID. But it'southward also a little frustrating at times because he'due south always around, and my wife and I accept no alone time.
Max has boundary issues and acts like we were yet roommates in our 20s. He thinks it'southward fine to walk around in a towel and leave his clothes in the bath after he showers—that kind of thing. I throw his dirty clothes at him, only my wife tolerates all of information technology, and fifty-fifty does his laundry sometimes when she's doing it anyhow. I shake my head at this, but I know she'due south just trying to be a nice host.
The other day, when I assume my married woman thought I was still upstairs and Max was gone, I defenseless a glimpse of her picking up Max's underwear from the bathroom floor and putting it upwardly on her face up. I couldn't fully see, but it looked like she was smelling information technology. I was a petty shocked and made some dissonance, and she acted like zilch happened. I have not mentioned this since, and I am not sure what to do.
Max is finally leaving in a couple of weeks. I might be incorrect about what I saw, but a part of me is now thinking about the few times they've been alone. I exercise trust my wife and Max, simply the last year has made u.s. all a lilliputian crazy. Should I bring this upwardly to my wife? What should I say?
—Should I Be Worried?
Stoya: I experience like there'due south one clamper that's the smelling of the underwear that definitely happened. And and then there's this other chunk, where our writer seems to be fearing that some physical act of adultery has happened between his married woman and best friend.
Rich: Right.
Stoya: And that seems similar a lot of altitude to comprehend in one paragraph. And I retrieve it might be worth them trying to punch dorsum that concern.
Rich: Yes. Then, information technology'southward difficult to untangle the suspicion from the jealousy because he says she's doing his laundry and this is abrasive to him. It's like, are you painting u.s. a picture of this entire thing that's leading up to this point? Are you crafting this? Or are you walking around feeling paranoid nigh this for whatever reason that you lot didn't specify because Max has purlieus issues?
Stoya: Yeah. If I were in his position and my wife was, I don't know, making positive comments about Max walking around in a towel, I would mention that in the letter. So, I think we tin can assume that she doesn't encourage him in any way.
And if she has a fetish, fetishes aren't necessarily connected to people. Some human foot fetishists don't care at all who the foot is attached to. She may be super into smelling underwear and just be really excited at a fresh gear up of genitals for some diversity. And be willing to tolerate specifically this laundry affair because it gives her a hazard to interact with the underwear.
Rich: But there is the chance that she's and so attracted to Max that she's sniffing in particular his crotch odor and loving it considering it belongs to him.
Stoya: At that place is. And that is where we then have to tread advisedly considering we don't want to transport the author off in this paranoid spiral and accept that result in him storming into the room. But it is a valid concern.
Rich: Certainly, my willingness to confront any situation I find gets me into plenty of trouble and creates strife. But if I were in this situation and I saw my swain doing that, I'd be like, "What are you lot doing? Like what?"
We're open, and so he's allowed, in whatsoever definition, to sniff somebody's underwear. He'southward allowed to practise a lot more. Then, something like this that exists in kind of a grey area of fidelity, that might be a reason why y'all wouldn't want to confront somebody considering you don't want to create a fight, yous don't want to accuse them. If I enquire my beau, "What are you doing?," we can express joy virtually it, but information technology can be open like that. I understand, in a different sort of scenario, why it might exist difficult to broach that chat.
At the same time, your wife had underwear on her face. What is she doing?
Stoya: Yes, they don't mention whether they're monogamous or not, which implies to me that they're default monogamous, which comes with a lot of details not beingness discussed.
Rich: Yep.
Stoya: And then, information technology's going to be very difficult for him to broach the chat because she probably feels conflicted, possibly guilty, perchance ashamed. And she has very skillful reason, given the situation, to fear that the faintest mention is the prelude to judgment and allegation. She may not be in a position to conspicuously answer a direct question about what she was doing. Simply I do think it'due south worth asking.
Rich: Yeah. But: "I happened to see. What was up with that? Are y'all into Max?"
Stoya: You don't necessarily take to go at it from that route. He could be like, "So, I've smelled your panties," presuming he has. "Here'southward what it did for me. Do you ever scent people's underwear?" And like give her an opportunity to be like, "Why, yes," merely still experience kind of in control. Merely I worry if he jumps straight to similar, "Then, when you had my friend Max's underwear on your confront… "—that might cause a breakdown in communication.
Rich: It could. Although I would say that if somebody came at it like you just suggested, I would immediately be like, "Oh my God, he saw me doing that the other day. And now information technology's a confrontation."
Stoya: There'southward no good way.
Rich: Yeah, this is a rip-the-Ring-Aid-off kind of thing.
Stoya: Brace for information technology to exist wacky and make sure y'all take a good couple of hours to deal with any complications where you take privacy, because the last matter you need is Max walking in, in the middle of some super tense give-and-take.
Rich: About his underwear.
Stoya: That he leaves on the floor similar a xx-yr-old.
Rich: And if we don't know how she'due south going to react, and then the best that y'all can do equally the person talking to her is make sure yous don't escalate—to make sure that yous apply empathetic, nonaccusatory language. If you're trying to find out information, you're trying to discover information. If you want to fight, you desire to fight. Only I call up the former is what yous're going for here. Then, merely be patient and kind, and say it bothered you.
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More How to Do It
This week, Stoya and Rich respond messages from a man who falls in beloved for a very embarrassing reason, and a woman whose good friend simply started a new OnlyFans account—and seems to exist targeting all her friends' husbands for follows.
Source: https://slate.com/human-interest/2021/09/wife-best-friend-attraction-husband-sex-advice.html
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